Monday, October 21, 2013

Me Want Food

I'm sitting here icing my arm because apparently you're not supposed to workout directly after getting allergy shots because it's speeds up all your BLOOD and stuff and makes you react faster.  So I have a welt on my arm the size of a baseball.  I'm special.

This happened to me a couple years ago when I got shots the day of The Hunger Games midnight premiere and forgot to call my allergist when I had a mild reaction because I WAS SO EXCITED ABOUT THE HUNGER GAMES THAT NOTHING ELSE MATTERED.  And then the next week my arm simply couldn't handle the amount of grass serum being injected into and got looking REALLY CUTE just in time for a long day at school.

In general, though.  I feel ever so much better than I have the last few months.

It's the kind of thing where you don't know how bad you felt until you feel better.  My ENT (ear, nose, throat) doctor from a few years ago really enlightened me to this phenomenon.  You see, I had a GIANT CYST in my sinus which is an extra attractive attribute of mine.  He took it out for me, and, in my follow up appointment, was gleefully pulling "crusts" (don't ask) from my nose and showing them to me.  I told him, "I'm really glad you like your job, but please stop showing me things that have been in my nose."  He said, "You know that thing you mom tells you: 'you can pick your friends and you can pick your nose but you can't pick your friend's nose?'  Well, I can!  And I get paid for it!"  A joke he probably tells all his patients.  Then he said, "But seriously, I'm just excited because you are going to feel SO MUCH BETTER!  You don't even know!"  And I did.  It's nice to have a clear sinus cavity!  WHO KNEW?!

The thing is, a few weeks ago my friend (I MISS YOU GANGER) and I were doing this cool new thing, google chat, because we are the hippest and coolest ever (it's free) and she, probably sick of me complaining to her about my sleepiness and craziness and carsickness and general lumpiness, asked me, "Is there anything good about being pregnant?"  I thought long and hard.  What I came up with was, "My hair grows really fast and is really shiny!"  And she was impressed.  But then I said, "So is my leg hair, though."  Less impressed.  "My toenails are really strong!" I offered.  She was mildly proud of me. I tried, "I have zits on my boobs?"  No comment.  "I'll think of something.  I'm sure of it."  She waited patiently.  Finally, I said, "I guess the having the baby part is the good part and the rest of it is just fine."  Which is nice and all...but then I took a nap.

But now, just about midway through this thing, I came up with something really good!  AND IT'S FOOD!  So, I lived mostly on multigrain cheerios (no milk) for the majority of the summer.  My OB was cool with it, saying, "Whatever gets you through!"  But it's kinda depressing eating only off white foods.  BUT NOW I LOVE FOOD!  I am only nauseated sometimes in the morning and only when I make the Doctor bacon because apparently bacon is my worst enemy now (sad, I know).  Generally, though, I eat like a champ.  I can eat so much more than I thought I could.  I'll be eating and then eat the normal amount and be ready to be done but then I'll kinda rally and be like, "you know what? I CAN DO THIS!" and then eat more stuff.  The thing is.  I have the slowest metabolism on the planet.  Not really.  But I have been told I have a middle-aged-woman metabolism.  And so generally, eating DELICIOUS Tillamook peanut butter ice cream every day would catch up to me.  But this is the magic part.  It's not (yet!).  If this changes, I will sadly bid adieu to my double string cheese a day habit and my "pretend" Starbucks (decaf lattes I pretend are the real deal).  But until then...

In other news I'm still crazy, in case you were wondering.  Just hours ago I screamed at the radio, "I do not want to hear F******* 'Wrecking Ball!'" after changing the station three times and it was ON EVERY ONE.  

One last note from a gchat convo.  My friend asked me about my new nephew (so cute) and asked if he's a good baby.  I said, "Yeah!  He's great.  He eats and sleeps and stuff."  She said, "Isn't it crazy that all it takes to be a good baby are those two things?  So simple"  And I said, "Yeah.  If only all things in life were that simple.  If so, I'M A GREAT BABY!"

Full disclosure, it has come to my attention that I was not that great of a baby...that was then, though.  I got the hang of it...

No comments:

Post a Comment