An Ode (or Eulogy) to Flippy and Hambone on this, the day Booberry (mostly) stopped nursing
(in the style of BS Poetry 101)
O Flippy (right) and Hambone (sinister),
How I will(willnot) miss how you double-boobedly kept Booberry alive for a year.
after rolling rolly roll
Of baby fat.
All because of you…
To Hambone, the dominant:
Sure, you took the mastitis hit, but you came back stronger, too strong. (Way too strong, actually. Fill a baby’s ear strong. Hit Doctor Dada from across the room strong. Hence, living up to your namesake.)
To Flippy, the overactive:
You never let ME down. (BF joke, LOL. Hashtagboobies)
To thee I bid adieu.
True, you haven’t traveled far. Just southward of your original home
…Slouching toward the ground.
But I thank you. Booberry thanks you.
While you can no longer fly free in a summer breeze, your nursing cover ripped off in valiant passion by Booberry, I will always remember our times spent making strangers and male friends uncomfortable.
We’ll always have Value Village.
(“DAT” she cried, freeing Hambone from his sports bra in front of some dude in an employee vest).
Enjoy your quiet time out of the public eye.
Convalesce in a non-nursing bra.
Sleep through the night, my friends.
As I said to my OB, “Let’s do this again sometime.”