My Child Will

Some of you know my children very well. But in case you don't and you'd like to...

Bonus guessing game, guess which kid does which.  Trick: several of them apply to both.

My child will NOT...

eat a sandwich for lunch.

eat anything besides a sandwich for lunch.

forget the color of your cat.

color inside the lines.

wear jeans.

stand in line.

TOLERATE HUNGER.

put shoes on the correct feet.

be embarrassed by their behavior, no matter how inappropriate or loud.

choose a weather appropriate outfit on the first try. But it will be colorful...and patternful.

My child will...

say hello to EVERY stranger. Then tell them her full name. Her address...her social...our bank pin...

scratch you in the face if you cut in line.

recite entire Dr. Seuss books! And sometimes Shakespeare.

hear a loud noise, find it disturbing, and decide to combat it with MAKING MORE NOISE.

swing on swings FOREVER.

sing in the car.

take off shoes as soon as we reach the destination...even if it's the park.

give you the tightest and most passionate hug of your LIFE. Even if you are a plumber they just met.

lick you.

dance at a wedding.

exaggerate an injury in order to get a band aid.

play elaborate pretend games that involve every toy and costume in the house.

show the full range of human emotions...in one conversation.

tell you they love you. Even if they just met you.