Thursday, August 22, 2019

Workin' Moms

First and foremost, Workin' Moms on Netflix is the greatest thing to happen to moms since the yoga pant.



ALSO. Here we are...the home stretch. Almost back to school and back to my sorta work. I work part time. I call it "underemployed" but really I am part time and I need to own that because I DO LOTS OF THINGS when I'm not actively at my place(s) of employment.

But last spring, I worked full time for three months. I had a long-term-sub position at a private school nearby, an experience I called "teacher vacation" because they fed me lunch and the building was all one temperature. I also kept all my tutoring clients.

What was MOM time on MWF became mostly work time and what was ONE MOM became FOUR people:
- husband who took three long lunches to accommodate my afternoon class.
- his parents who I asked to help out because they are the best in-laws ever and also because they are free
- a friend from college who graciously agreed to nanny for us part time and my children only broke her spirit SOME of the days

THINGS I DID NOT DO WHILE WORKING:
- cook (like at all)
- clean
- kid-clothes shop
- go on dates (bc I used up all my childcare favors and $$ on covering my work schedule)
- stay awake past 10pm
- wake up later than 6am

THINGS I DID DO WHILE WORKING:
- buy work-appropriate clothes (because leggings as pants seemed wrong)
- exercise (about half as much as before)
- organize mental and physical health care for 3/4 family members (Doctor Husband is on his own)
- attend IFEP, IEP, and evaluations for each of my children
- attend bi-monthly therapy sessions for our family
- ALL THE LAUNDRY FOR SOME REASON (friend nanny offered to help with this, in her defense, and I think in-laws did, too, but I was never READY to give up this glorious task)
- attended four weddings
- went to Disneyworld (see previous post)

IT WAS EXHAUSTING YOU GUYS. And, yeah, if it was a forever-job thing, I'd have put the kids in daycare full time and it would have been more effective. And, yeah, the girl is going to kinder in a week and that's free.

BUT:
Between pick up and drop off and OT and therapy and doctor's appointments and sick days and soccer practice and swim lessons, I don't actually have that many hours a week where I'm not with a kid considering they will both be "full time students" after Labor Day.

SO WHAT AM I SAYING?

I don't know.

Mental load, I guess. Feminism. The patriarchy.

OK HERE'S WHAT IT IS:
RESPECT TO YOU ALL.

If you are a working parent. An "underemployed," part-time, unemployed, stay at home, or any combination I can't think of. RESPECT to you. THIS SHIT IS INTENSE. It is not easy for ANY of us. No one (I know) has it easy.

SO you do you. And you're going a good job. Whatever that job may be.

Tuesday, August 13, 2019

Summertime

Summertime and the livin' is.....crazy.
Kids are jumping and the anxiety is high.
Your daddy's workin' and your momma's unshowered.
So hush little children, don't you cry.


But, like, I like my kids, right?

I mean....you can LOVE someone more than yourself but you still can sorta kinda....feel exhausted by them on all levels.

Summer livin' had me a blast.
Summer livin' happened not so fast.
I have this girl, crazy and free.
I have this boy, cute as can be.
Summer dreams. ripped at the seams
by those, those summer fights.

Wella wella wella.

On Monday the kids went to camp and got separated for fighting.

Later that day, the girl went full manic demon nightmare child on me for the 1000000000000000 time this summer.

Would you like to recommend some literature to me? The Whole Brain Child, perhaps? WELL YEAH I GET IT HER ENTIRE BRAIN IS AMYGDALA RIGHT NOW.

Maybe a book called, No Bad Kids. This book will perhaps teach me not to feel shame about disciplining my children because I will do so WITH RESPECT.

Respectfully, girl child, would you ever so kindly stop biting me? I understand that you have flipped your lid due to underlying anxiety about leaving the safety of preschool and embarking on the glorious and terrifying journey into kinder.

How about the very clearly titled, How to Talk So Your Kids Will Listen and Listen So Your Kids Will Talk?

Me: I see you are out of your mind with rage. That must be really frustrating for you that I won't let you gouge out your brother's eyes. I wish I could let you gouge out all our eyes so the whole world could be blind. Why don't we come up with a solution together? Here, draw your feelings and we will feed it to the worry monster.

It's a cruel (cruel) summer.

The boy, of course. refuses to comply with swim lessons. Yesterday, he (somewhat sweetly) cowered in my bosom for the whole thirty minutes. But, last lesson, he spent the whole class actively trying to sabotage the class. He left the group, threw toys in the pool, and, when we told him to stop, he began the process of putting alllllll theeeee pooooool waaaater in his mouth and spitting it at the teacher and classmates. A JOY.

Now, it's not all bad. My insta will paint the most gorgeous picture of our garden, filled with yummy veggies (that they will not eat). Insta will also show you the delightful trip to the beach, where my feral children can really run free. Other "perfect internet life" highlights include a movie in the park (the three year old started a mosh pit and went home with a bloody eyebrow, but it really was the highlight of their lives), my escape to New York (siiiiiigh), and, of course, an adorable video of the girl in her ballet outfit. She hates ballet, turns out, but, really, who were we kidding, she's a hip hop girl at heart.

MY POINT, YOU ASK?

Two weeks to go.