Yesterday afternoon, Booberry didn’t
want to nap anywhere but on me. She wanted
chest to chest and face to face contact.
Then she gave up on the idea of sleeping all together and decided she
wanted to stare deep into my eyes. Unable
to turn on my phone for fear of her eyes being drawn to the evil and unholy
screen, I stared back. Her eyes, by the
light of day blue pools of mirth, were solid black orbs of nothingness. She was basically asleep with her eyes
open. So I held her for a while. Soon she did close her eyes. I tried to put her down, but she had none of
it, so we had a little staring contest. And
I began to question…
Why do I
want to escape this perfect little creature so badly right now? Oh yeah…work.
Why won’t
she sleep on her own today?
This is
the second morning she’s woken up in her own poop. Have I trained her to shit herself whenever
she wants attention?
When she’s
a teenager, what will she look like?
What if I
have to take her to the gynecologist when she’s 16 because she needs birth control?
Does she
like mac and cheese so much because I ate too much of it when I was
pregnant? Or is mac and cheese just
universally good?
Did
letting her watch 15 minutes of Sesame Street turn her into a sociopath who
will never be able to connect with others on a social level?
Am I failing
as a parent?
Is
someone going to come take her away forever because I’m screwing her up and
just am too ignorant to know it?
Does it actually
hurt her when I wipe oatmeal off her face?
She cries like it does.
Isn’t
this better than getting stuff done?
What’s
for dinner?
Did they
put makeup on the royal baby to make her skin look better or do princesses not
get baby acne?
Should I
get a zoo membership? Yes.
If I fall
asleep here, will my arms relax, causing her to plummet to the floor?
Oh! Her eyes are closed. How long will she sleep like this?
And then
she woke up.
We looked just like this. I like to wear all white around the house so I can better tell how clean it is. And I like to match my baby to my decor.
