But What Do You Do All Day? (School Edition)

Guess what? It finally happened. The girl has gone off to kindergarten. She's doing fine. I mean, she's exhausted and comes home with most of her lunch uneaten, but she's doing fine and has little cute friends and seems to enjoy it.

I was totally planning to write a saccharine post about how proud I am of my big baby and how ready she is and how much I cried (I didn't) and missed her (also didn't) ....but....instead..........howwww abouuuuut.....

ME!

If it wasn't stuck in your head then, it is now.

My classes don't start for a week and that's actually great because this has been really an adjustment for ME!

I maybe low key judged some moms who stay home after their kids go to school BUT NO MORE. I have been completely busy, y'all.

Here's my day, and maybe it looks like all other SAHM (learn the acronyms) days but also, I really, really want to go up to every mom in the kinder class and ask them what they did all day in a minute by minute break down because I'm desperately curious but I'm also trying to figure out exactly which ones are gonna be my friends for the next one to twelve years so I'm trying to play it coy at the moment.

6:40 Awake with the dawn/the cries of the boy who, every night before bed, says to me, "When I scream, it's time to get up!" He runs as loudly as possible for someone weighing under 40lbs into my room and then complains that I'm taking too long peeing.

6:45 I make his breakfast first because I don't have it in me to parent a three year old with a lesson on patience first thing. Then I make coffee and husband's, my, and the girl's breakfast in that order.

6:50 Before the coffee is done brewing, the boy is done eating and requests being changed into clothes that I have to psychically intuit to fit his whim and then becomes possessed by a demon unless I let him watch a show on the kindle and usually I haven't had coffee or food at this point and I let him so I can do all the other things.

7am wake the girl who is DEEPLY asleep and force her to pee and eat and then she asks me to "dress her like a baby" and wanders in to watch the show. Make lunches for all except me. Yes, they are in bento boxes. No they are not cutesy and containing sandwiches shaped like pandas.

7:10 Bye Husband. Everyone lightly acknowledges his departure. The boy asks for yogurt. I give the boy yogurt because #calcium

7:30 abandon any uneaten food/undranken coffee and throw on clothes. These last couple days I've tried to wear "real" clothes because, you know, I'm in the market for friends and maybe I should dress for them. You notice I didn't shower?

7:40 pry the kindle from their hands and brush and floss teeth (#dentistkids), put on shoes, and we leave.

7:50 I have to drive the girl to elementary school because she got into a "public focus option" which is liiiiike  public school in that it's free and unlike a public school in that there's no bus.

8:10 Arrive at school, unload children, brace for the sound of the bell that sets my sensory processing disordered kids into anxiety mode, and go to the classroom. Do the routine of filling water, hanging coats, etc. I could get to school later but I guarantee a good parking spot by getting there early and that's worth my time, I think.

8:30 The teacher opens the door and lets the girl in. The boy begins to cry because of a combo of "I want to go to kindergarten. I miss my sister! I want to stay and play! I don't want to go to this school! This school is too big! I don't want to go to my school! The bell is loud!" And I carry him out of there as the other parents give me sympathy smiles.  Drive the boy to preschool as he weeps.

8:45 Drop the boy at preschool. Everyone remarks on how dressed up I am. My standards are lower for the preschool crowd who has seen me through all disgusting trimesters of being pregnant with the boy, the post-surgical post-partum year, the year of tantrums of having a 1 and 3 year old, and every day since.

9am walk in the door of my SILENT HOUSE. Sprawl on the couch.

9:30 DO ALL THE THINGS.

- laundry
- groceries
- dishes
- food prep
- tidying
- "work" (social media for the dental practice, prep for said classes)
- READ A BOOK LIKE A HUMAN
- one day this week I went to breakfast with a friend and we were giddy with our freedom
- EXERCISE LIKE A HUMAN
- somehow there's more laundry and dishes already
- stretch
- go on the internet
- learn what podcasts are because.....

2:40 Get back in the car to go get the girl.  Listen to a podcast. Find it delightful. Maybe I am going to be okay driving 2 hours a day somehow to get these kids to and from school.

3pm Snag a good parking spot. Go to the girl's classroom sans screaming three year old. Pick up the exhausted limp noodle that is my daughter. Somehow this takes fifteen minutes.

3:15 Drive home. Get precious few details about her day.

3:30 Arrive home. Read with the girl. My favorite part of the day.

4:20 leave to get the boy from preschool. Lose the girl in the preschool playground because she misses her old life. Somehow this takes fifteen minutes

4:45 Arrive back home. Feed the feral beasts as fast as possible. Attempt to make grown-up dinner.

5pm ALL CHAOS DESCENDS UPON US. Everyone is tired, the food hasn't hit their systems yet, and it's ALL TOO MUCH!

6pm or whenever. Daddy's home! Somehow the dishwasher is going but there's a sink full of dishes and every toy and book in the house is on the floor and I've lost my shit and the girl is in timeout for trying to curb stomp her brother and the boy is dressed as Spiderman.

6:30 eat grown up dinner (because I give up on the whole "eat together thing") while the children play angelically in the next room. They play angelically when the next thing is:

7pm bedtime for the boy! Read the books, "tell a story about (insert random assortment of objects and people)", sing (he currently always wants "Til There Was You"), tuck in, and, as I leave, he whispers, "When I scream, it's time to get up!"

7:30 Read (or watch Dark Crystal) with the girl. Let her chill the F ouuuuut.

8:30 Alls quiet (except the girl's super loud audio book). Netflix and scroll on our phones.

10pm read in bed. Sleep?

TOMORROW WE DO IT ALL AGAIN!

We don't even have any extracurriculars at this point! And no appointments this week. And I didn't have to appear at work!

Did you want to know? I don't care. But what did you do all day? No really...did I do it right? Is this what we do all day?