Stupid Hip Problem Update #23233487347347936742847624624

Today I finally got validation. 

No I don't know why my hip hurts a little bit all the time. More on that later. 

But I did find out that I'M NOT CRAZY! Ok, actually I didn't find that out at all.

For the longest time (cue Billy Joel), I have had the sneaking suspicion that I am being gas lighted by the MOM INDUSTRY! 

You know, the one that tells you to RUN with your jogging stroller in your expensive plastic yoga pants. And to pay them money to RUN outside with them yelling at you to run faster because you ate too much on Mother's Day (true story). 

I've always thought that perhaps they were telling me to do something that felt...wrong. But they were fit, and happy...so I must be wrong...

For example, every mom I know (hyperbole) is doing this thing called Hood to Coast this weekend. In case you're not local, my understanding of this event is that you get up at 3am, drive in a smelly van (THAT YOU DECORATED) with your coworkers or, worst case scenario, your spouse's coworkers, to the top of a mountain (Hood). Then you run down it until you fall, lifeless into the ocean. That's right, my mom friends are so desperate to get away from their beloved and adorable children that they would rather run all day and night for a weekend than sleep at home with their families. No, they like doing this event. They CHOOSE to do this event. They train for it, work hard, and ENJOY it, I'm told. 

NOPE NOPE NOPITY FUCK NO NO.

I did Couch to 5K in 2015. I did not make it to 5K but I did make it off the couch, until I broke my foot (stress fracture). 

I accepted defeat and tried to do other forms of exercise. JKJKJKJK I just got pregnant and gave up (you know this story, though). 

I've been invited a few times to run, since, and I've politely declined, citing my broken hip (not broken) and broken foot (also fine). 

BUT TODAY!

TODAY!

(gleeful cackle)

Today I met with an orthopedic surgeon because my sports medicine doctor said, "I've done all I can for you" and referred me out (to which I responded behind his back, with deep sarcasm, "you've done so much for me so far, though). 

She told me that I should NEVER RUN AGAIN because I have weird calf and shin anatomy and I will separate my muscles from my bones and DEFINITELY need surgery if I run.

I'M NEVER RUNNING AGAIN.

Except after the boy the next time he decides to go walkabout into the road. 

SUPER VALIDATION.

But my stupid hip problem, you ask, what about my stupid hip problem? You know, the one I went in there for? 

No easy answer here. I need to see a spine guy now to rule out a nerve pinching spine thingy. 

SO, just the news we all wanted...

TO BE CONTINUED.