On paper, it seemed really good. There was chocolate. Fresh air. Sunshine.
But my morning started out early and rough. The boy either loves me so much it hurts or hates me so much it hurts. It's one of those. Nothing in between. When I said it was time to go to school, he began a full body scream tantrum, rendering him impossible to get out the door. The girl was holding it together but we all have sensory processing disorder and hate loud noises so it began to wear on us and finally, I asked her to carry the lunch boxes and she SCREAMED at me that she could not and I yelled at her and then we both apologized and I could tell this was going to be a terrible, no good, very bad daycare drop off.
We survived the load in with only one dropping of a bag and made it the whole five minutes in the car listening to the baby sing the song of his people. The boy did not seem to know whether or not he wanted to walk into daycare himself or be carried so we took a good three minutes getting from the car to the door. Somehow, and I really can't figure out how, my daughter got her foot caught UNDER the door at this point and started screaming bloody murder. I think she was scared more than hurt. SO, that's right. I'm the mom with TWO screaming children, taking up the whole hallway at daycare.
I abandon my hysterical offspring with the daycare teachers aka saints and hand the valentines for tomorrow to one teacher as I flee. I hope no one notices I did all 25 of them BACKWARDS.
I go to work for a couple hours, tutoring. It is juuuuust fine.
I go to PT--go me. I tell her about how I did sixty minutes of Barre and how my butt hurts and she tells me I really should only do 30 minutes of any exercise at this point and I feel a bit deflated but she helps me with things and works on my stupid hip and then I leave, out into the glorious sunshine where two women on crutches talk about crutches things while they wait for their cars.
What happened next was ridiculous. I wish I could say I was enjoying the sunshine. I can't even say I was on my phone. I WALKED INTO A STREET SIGN. It was a construction "detour" sign and it was placed HEAD LEVEL on the side walk, which seems silly, but more silly is that I walked face first into it!
A very stylish older lady wearing red lipstick (#olderladygoals) witnessed this and was VERY CONCERNED for my health. I got a "sweetie!" And I yelled, "DID YOU SEE HOW STUPID I WAS TO WALK INTO THAT? I'M TOTALLY FINE!" It was super dumb. I'm fine. It actually might bruise.
At this point I decided I deserved ice cream. I know that's counter-productive to the whole go to PT so you can exercise but until then don't really exercise shebang, but I was very near Salt-n-Straw and it is a good month for the special flavors because they are all chocolate themed so I fucking got a scoop of goddamned fancy and amazing fucking ice cream. And I enjoyed it.
And then I bought a dress! I am attending a wedding and need a suitable dress. Shopping is supposed to be a fun activity but it is NOT fun for the poor mom bod because women's clothes shopping is insane. I went to Nordstrom Rack and picked out more dresses than I should have been feasibly carrying and I tried on every single one.
One woman can try on one million dresses and they can all be the same freaking numbered size on the inside and she will find a vast array of horrible fit problems: too big in the boobs, too tight in the boobs, doesn't fit over hips, doesn't zip, zips but with a gap, too long, too short, too low cut, too prudish, what the fuck is this slip thing, how am I supposed to get into this dress, too pink, too black, too too too too tooooooooooooo
I found two. I will do a fashion show at home and pick one.
And then I picked up the children and they alternated screaming at me and being really, really cute and playing nicely together and crying because one or the other was wronged.
Bedtime. Tutor another kid. His "cat" gave me a valentine. Because they are the best family ever.
Here I am. So tired. Still awake.
On paper, so good: worked. sunny day, chocolate, dress.
In real life...so much in between.
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